This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Randomize
