Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
