Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
