she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize