I can text with my tongue
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
