im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
