do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
