So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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