So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
