Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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