shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
