Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
