i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
