I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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