my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize