Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
