I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Randomize
