she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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