so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
