he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
