Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
