dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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