I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
