he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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