i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
