Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
