I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize