what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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