Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
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