She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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