I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
