Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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