Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
we're so committed to being not committed
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
