I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He? As in you personified your dick?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
