We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
