I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
