We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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