Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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