Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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