It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
