awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
