You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize