I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
