So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
