Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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