My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
