I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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