Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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