You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
