I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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