Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
All the doctor said was why
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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