She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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