Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
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