Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
