Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize