i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
