Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
