I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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