How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Even my vagina gasped.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
