It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
