I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
