What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
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