I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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