That's intense
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
