I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Randomize
