It's like a parade of train wrecks.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
How's work?
Spinning.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
They took my balls.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
