Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
