just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
