covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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