and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Randomize
