When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize