You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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