I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
