oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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