His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize