I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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