he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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