mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i just google imaged poop.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
