return my video game
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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