...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
