I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
