im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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