dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
