Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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