Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
