singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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